A few years ago my life, on paper, would have looked perfect. A nice house in a beautiful village, three happy, healthy children, lots of hobbies, friends and a thriving holistic therapy practice. Then I had a car accident, which exacerbated a pre-existing pelvic condition, caused some spinal damage, and in seconds everything changed. I lost my mobility and at first, felt like I had lost myself too.
Before my accident I had thought I was happy. I had been a holistic therapist for 8 years and loved my job. My thirst for knowledge was insatiable. I was a complete course junkie who always wanted to know more and I strived for credibility in everything I did. I have a ridiculously long list of qualifications, none of which filled the gap inside me. Looking back now I realise I was on a quest to find the ‘answer’ but of course this is impossible if you do not know what the question is.
Time suddenly became infinite. I went from feeling there was never enough hours in the day, to literally listening to the minutes tick by as I sat on my sofa, day after day, staring at the clock. After a period (a rather long one truth be told) of feeling sorry for myself I stumbled across the story of the Starfish Thrower and again, everything changed for me. I suddenly recognised that I didn’t have to know what my ‘purpose’ was or to be fit, healthy and determined enough to change the world. We can all do small things to brighten someone’s day with a positive attitude and loving intent and that really is amazing.
Daily meditation practice; expanding my consciousness and changing my relationship with my mind has made me realise I am more than my disability. I knew that I couldn’t change my physical condition but I could change the way I felt about it. Sure, my body has changed but the essence of who I am remains. I felt depressed when I looked at the past and what I had lost, anxious when I looked to the future, as I didn’t, and still don’t know how complete my recovery will be. For my peace of mind I have to live in the Now. I realised I don’t need to constantly strive for other people to validate me. I am enough just as I am. I no longer look for the plausibility in everything. Some things just are, and need no explanation.
Alongside my therapy practice I want to use my teachings and life experience to help others live fully. I may not have freedom in my body but I have freedom within my mind and it’s awesome. Join me.