“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape 100 days of sorrow”. Chinese Proverb.
I read with interest last week that Kim Kardashian has issued an ultimatum to Kayne West regarding his erratic behaviour and has hired a meditation coach in an attempt to curb Kayne’s anger. Kayne is often in the news for his hot headed exploits and often loses his temper. It is reported Kanye will be meditating for an hour a day, seven days a week.
So could it work? Absolutely. Meditation allows you to become aware of the thoughts and feelings in your body in a non-judgmental way. Recognising these sensations when they arise and putting into practice breathing techniques allows you to observe your feelings with kindness and compassion. Kayne will be taught how to let go of his thoughts, and if that is not always possible, different techniques to deal with them as an alternative to lashing out.
Becoming an observer of your anger allows you to also see what may be behind it. Often anger masks deeper feelings such as fear, guilt or shame. Once you can understand what leads you to anger you can apply a kindness to yourself, without self-criticism, which then also positively impacts on all your relationships.
Will it work? It’s difficult to say. If Kayne has taken responsibility for his behavior and made a decision to find a new way to be then yes. However, loved ones, with the best will in the world, often try to force a change on someone who isn’t ready. It’s like trying to give up smoking because your family lectures you on the health risks all the time. Until you decide you are ready and most importantly, want a change, anything you try is unlikely to become a sustainable way of life.
I wish them lots of luck.