The Happy Starfish

Living Mindfully & Celebrating Health, Happiness & Peaceful Living


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Ditch the New Year pressure

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We’re only a few days into January and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been asked what my New Year’s Resolutions are.

The cashier at the supermarket this morning looked baffled when I said I don’t have any.

‘I’ve put on weight over Christmas,’ she blurted out, ‘And I’m going to join a gym.’

Why do we do it? Heap unnecessary pressure on top of our often frantic lives, only to face crushing disappointment when we can’t achieve the impossibly high standards we set ourselves.

I have goals, dreams, aspirations. Everybody should but I strive every day to be better than I was yesterday, to always be kind, compassionate, grateful and mindful, no matter what day or month it is. To be the best version of myself I can be; to pay it forward whenever I can, and love. You can never have enough love. And that’s the only resolution I need.

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Your New Year’s Resolution should be this

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“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line”. Lucille Ball

Are you making New Year’s resolutions? Many of us are hurtling towards 2014 with good intentions and the hope that next year we can transform ourselves into the people we want to be.

Put the brakes on; there is only one thing you need to develop next year. Self-love. Yep, it’s that simple. If we take a look at five of the most common resolutions of 2013 you will see why.

1) Eat healthily

If you practice self-love you will begin to respect your body in a way you never thought possible. Naturally you will want to fuel yourself with the cleanest foods available meaning a healthier, slimmer you.

2)  Drink less alcohol

There is nothing wrong with the odd social drink if you choose to do so but practice self-love and any excess bingeing borne out of self loathing will naturally grind to a halt.

3) Quit smoking

With self-love comes gratitude. The human body is awesome and capable of so many great things, you won’t want to potentially affect your health through cigarettes.

4) Save money

With self-love comes an inner tranquility and contentment. The need to fill time with activities or shopping to give ourselves that endorphin release becomes a thing of the past. There is happiness to be found in just Being.

5) Better work/life balance

Through self-love you learn to recognise your own value, know that it’s ok to say no, set boundaries and put your own needs first. You can be a team player at work without compromising your family and social time.

So ditch the lists, you don’t need them, or the hard time you may give yourself if your resolve weakens (a slice of chocolate cake on 2nd January does not make you a bad person). Instead, love yourself as though your life depends on it and everything else will just fall into place.


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The only New Years Resolution you will EVER need

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It’s that crazy time of year again when lists are made with often unachievable, sometimes downright ridiculous goals.

Three people I know have already decided on theirs. One is currently eating through the Christmas food like there is a famine approaching so she can start a diet on January 1st, another has signed up to a gym but she doesn’t want to actually start until New Year (although she has bought all the kit), and the third is “absolutely, definitely” going to give up smoking this year “for sure”.

Sound familiar?

How often have you made a resolution only to break it and subsequently feel negatively about yourself? Why not try something different this year?

Although I don’t really condone New Years Resolutions (why delay feeling happy until you are thinner/fitter/healthier etc?) if you want to make one, try this:-

“Be Kind”

Yep, it really is that simple. Be kind to yourself. If you need to change your diet, improve your fitness, give up smoking etc by all means try. That’s being kind to yourself. However, if it doesn’t work out don’t be hard on yourself. You are not a failure. Be Kind.

Someone treating you not in a way you would choose to be treated? Be Kind. You don’t know what’s going on with them, and you are not a mind reader so don’t second guess. Everyone has their own story to tell and we all could benefit from some kindness, always.

You can Be Kind, to anyone, in any situation but most of all, remember to apply it to yourself. Kindness flows into gratitude which transmutes into love. What more do we actually need?

If everyone used this as their New Years Resolution how lovely the world would be.

Happy New Year.

Louise xx